New Car Battery= Disaster

I went yesterday to a auto parts shop because my car Gloria (yes she has a name) desperately needed a new battery. I can't believe how many things went wrong! You know when you get so embarrassed that you can feel your blood flowing through your body and your temperature inside starts pulsing and you start sweating. Well that is what happened while I was at this auto shop...

• didn't know how many miles on my car
• didn't know if i should buy the 56 month battery or the 78 month, so I called my Father and just handed the phone to the dealer guy (Roger) to explain. Now Roger thinks "bless her heart"
• I go to pay for the battery with my American Express... they don't take AMEX.
• Well that is all I had, so I called my mom to get her mastercard #.... The Mastercard # has been stolen and has been totally cancelled because of fraud.
• Mom says "just write a check out of your book"
• Tell Roger I will go out and get my check book in my car... come back in empty handed, my checkbook was in my purse on his counter.
• start writing a check... ok don't judge me i know i have lived a sheltered life, but I have only written 2 check in my life because i just use my debit card. So I start writing the check (pulse starts picking up) because I wasn't sure i remembered exactly how to write a check and i was DEFINITELY not going to ask Roger.
• Wrote the check successfully.... spelled "ninety" WRONG. (He noticed)
• He asks for my drivers license, I DON'T HAVE IT! Roger pretends to call the cops to tell them.
• He says then he will just have to call the bank to verify my funds... heart beating hard now, forehead wet- I KNOW i don't have enough money in my checking account!
• Red in the face, i told him to hold on because i know i don't have enough money so I will call my mom to hurry and make a deposit into my checking account right now.
• Roger pretends to call the FBI
• while waiting for mom to make the deposit, he starts small talk. tells me he is from Syracuse, Utah. Asked me if I knew where that was- I didn't. (PSH! sorry I have not payed any attention while my family drives to Lake Powell before! that's pretty much the only time we head down south) He and his 4 mechanic buddies start HOLLERING with laughter.
• By now I absolutely just wanted to DIE, I felt like a stupid incapable handicapped dumb girl who was a total CRIMINAL.
• Then he ASKED if I felt like a criminal...
• Mom called to confirm the drop, and I was out of there Soooooooooo fast.

I promise I am a fully functioning person

Just had a lot of bad luck packed into 45 minutes at a car shop.

ugh.